Don't Worry Creampuff: On Women, Brawn, and Beauty



"I would hate to look like that" First of all, NO YOU WOULDN'T. If you worked your ass off, day in and day out for years and the physical appearance of your body reflected every bit of it's hard-earned capability, you wouldn't hate it. You'd love it. You'd treasure your body and appreciate the many skills and strengths it possesses. You would take care of it and feed it well. You'd purposely buy dresses that show off your traps and shorts that unleash your quads on the world. You would wear your muscles with pride.

"I don't want to get bulky" Well good news then... In the words of my friend Bobby K: don't worry creampuff, you don't have what it takes.


Seriously. Balancing a job, family, training, sleeping, and eating to achieve that level of athleticism is unbelievably hard. And most people don't like things that are hard. By occasionally touching a barbell, you are not in immediate danger of contracting WLS (Wide Lat Syndrome) or AQE (Acute Quad Enlargement). You don't have what it takes to get bulky. Do you know how I know that? Because almost nobody does. That's why it's unique to see a girl with delts poppin out of her tank top. It stands out. We recognize that she has done something uncommon. So just because you don't have what it takes, please don't cut down the accomplishments of the others that do.


"Those CrossFit Girls are gross and unattractive"

You know what? I'm actually cool with that. To each their own. I'm not here to change or argue with what anyone finds beautiful or attractive. But just remember, CrossFit isn't a physique competition. Those girls are not putting their bodies out there to be evaluated for their aesthetic appeal. They are testing the physical capabilities of those badass bodies. You don't find them attractive? Well lucky for them, the ability to give you a boner is not an event at the CrossFit Games. The only opinions regarding their beauty that matter are their own and perhaps their partner/spouse. End of list. Your opinion, you brave keyboard warrior?...